A new year

Happy New year, yes I know I’m late about it. But we’re a week in and so much has happened already.

My gf wanted to take a step back to just dating and not be exclusive… That hurt a lot i don’t even know if we’re together or not.but I’m not depressed or dwelling on it, just have to move forward and see what the future has in store.

My boss told me recently he is making it his goal to move me up to a better paying position by the end of this year, which means I have a lot to learn! But I’m always up for a challenge and I thank God I love what I do.

A family member of mine is closer to coming home and we are all ecstatic about this news. We haven’t seen him for almost 7 months now.

My boy will be 4 this year! He’s getting so big it’s hard to realize he’s going to be in kindergarten soon. I’m experiencing first hand how challenging it is to further my career and be a dad at the same time, I haven’t been able to pick him up from daycare for a couple weeks now. But my mom has been a lot of help and my sister as well. My boy has been refusing to listen a lot and not using the bathroom as he should, so trying to stay on top of that while already tired as can be doesn’t work to well.

I have a lot going on and it’s all positive! New position at work, my boy getting older, family coming home, working on me and being there best I can be for myself, my son, and the woman of my dreams.

Hope everyone has a great day!

-J

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Having patience

I went to the pool hall tonight to have some fun and get out of the house especially after the day I had. I had to leave work early to pick up my son from daycare he had a fever, argued with his mother, my boss not being happy I left early, my roommate being unhappy I brought my son home not feeling good again.I spent most of my time running around the table missing my shots and getting irritated. I had to calm myself and take my time and have patience. 

I started making every shot and I started to calm down and have fun, and I started thinking and asking myself why don’t I do that with things in my life? Like my son, relationship, work. If I can work on thinking and clearing my head and calming myself down and letting things happen the way they should instead of trying to force it things could go so much smoother. 

Especially in a place of noise and chaos behind me going on it’s not easy but makes a big difference. I don’t know if it’ll work every time but it’s worth a try.

-J

My Beautiful

Love is a strange word to me, I can tell you all of the things I love to do, foods I love or things. But when it comes to saying I love someone I still get nervous but when it comes to saying I love my Beautiful my heart races, butterflies in my stomach and shaky in my knees.

I have been in love with her for a long time, and being with her now for the time we have I haven’t lost any love it’s only grown stronger. We’ve talked about marriage and things of that nature but we know we’re not ready yet for something like that. 

I could make a list saying all the thing I love about her and be cliche, like how I love the way smiles when I give her certain looks, her kisses, the color of her eyes (mix of a honey brown and green) I love her long hair, I love who she is. She is one of the most affectionate and caring person you would ever meet but on her time and her terms which I’m learning (slowly) yo be ok with because I know she will and not force anything but to let it happen and when it does to be appreciative of the fact she opened up considering the things she’s going through right now. I know it’s kind of a long blog and trailed off a bit but things are not always perfect or go how you want them to. She has helped me realize this but it’s so worth it in the end cause she is perfect for me and my best friend, my love, my Beautiful.

-j

2017…

I have been thinking of starting a blog for the past year now… I guess better late than never as they say right? Lol

2017… It’s been a crazy year… But things have been changing since 2016. Some has been for the better, some not so much.

Dec 8th of 2016 is when the woman I’ve been in love with since I was 19 ( let’s call her Beautiful) gave me the opportunity I’ve have so long waited for…stopped it in February…and been going again since July.

I have 2 wonderful kids in my life, my 3 year old son and Beautiful’s daughter who is quickly turning 4 this month.

My job that I started with no experience at I am the only one in my position that has been there for almost 2 years now and I still go in loving what I do since day 1. But needless to say it can be stressful too

My family is absolutely amazing though more times than not you’d think we hate each other or need medication lol.

But needless to say this year has had trying times… Family member of mine has been in for almost 6 months as I write this but could quite possibly be home this week, what joy that will bring us. My son has learned to use the big potty but still has his accidents, he’s been talking more and more. He is just like his old man and his Papa always trying to fix something or work on what we are working on.

Beautiful and have had some trying times… Since November to now has been there worst of it… She lost her job, dealing with a loss from a year ago, her aunt who is also her roommate, her soon to be ex husband (don’t judge) and her baby girl growing up, but trying to keep herself intact and together.

My life isn’t perfect but show me one that is! My life is full of stress, doubt, worry, felling lost, anger, I’m an emotionally driven person. I have a lot of happiness and joyous times, i get to laugh and joke around with the people I love and care about, I don’t know what I would do without them. I started this blog to have a place to put my thoughts and confusion and success of my life to show myself and others that life isn’t easy especially as a young parent but also as a single parent, and hopefully I can show someone it’s worth every minute and things will come and go even when they get bad you have to have the right mentality to get through it…

-J